If there's one thing that hasn't deterred me in the slightest from pursuing my English degree, it's that. Being told that I can't do anything with it. In fact, that's less annoying to me than people assuming I just want to be come a teacher or that being a teacher is the only thing that you can do with an English degree. Basically, I'm all around defensive when people say untrue or ridiculous things about this particular major and those who choose to get into it.
Yet, lately, I myself am feeling... ambivalent toward my choice to be an English major. I could no more stop reading and writing than I could simply cease breathing but something about being an English major is making me second-guess all the thought that went into making this my major in the first place. I wish I could explain it. It's incredibly frustrating to have 28 credits under my belt toward getting my degree already only to wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
I'm planning on declaring my minor (criminal justice) this week, and I'm just terrified of everything that's to come. I don't want to grow up and I feel like I shouldn't be making my own decisions. I'm twenty but everything in me is still screaming "you're five, you can't handle this, get someone to help you." And nobody can make these decisions but me.
There is no road map or manual for this college stuff. And god, I hope it's all worth it.
